You and your spouse have decided to divorce, and as tough and emotional as the situation is, you both know it is for the best. Your decision to move on is final, and you decide it’s time to tell your friends.

That won’t be easy, especially when it comes to the friends who knew you as part of a couple. And while you think your friends will be with you through thick and thin, it is inevitable that as you go through the divorce process that some friends will choose sides or just fade away.

Surprisingly, you might find yourself consoling and counseling your friends more than they are you during your divorce. How can you help your friends with their emotions during this time?

  • Talk to them about your divorce in matter-of-fact terms. Don’t lead them to try to take sides.
  • Give them time to process the information. In other words, let them have some space.
  • Recognize that they just might not know what to say to you, so don’t push for them to comfort you.
  • Also recognize that they might not agree with your decision based on their personal feelings about divorce. There’s nothing you can do to change those long-held beliefs, so don’t try.

Your friends’ behavior might be puzzling to you but forcing the friendship during the divorce won’t have the effect you probably hoped it would. Some of your friends either will side with your spouse or just part with both of you. Others will stick with you during your divorce, and those relationships could emerge even stronger down the road.