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How parents can talk to their kids about the divorce

On Behalf of | Nov 18, 2019 | Divorce |

Divorce can be hard on any couple that goes through it, as reaching that decision can take much time and effort. While handing a spouse, the divorce papers can be heartbreaking. But it can be much more difficult to break the news to the children.

However, kids are often intelligent and may have noticed the marriage was turbulent for some time. But creating a delicate and appropriate explanation regarding the divorce can pose a significant challenge for parents.

Having a tough conversation

Here is how parents can do so thoughtfully and productively:

  • Tell the kids together: No matter what disputes the spouses have, they have a responsibility to care for their children no matter what. Parents may want to calmly explain they are splitting up and that each parent will always love and care for their children.
  • Remind them they haven’t done anything wrong: Often, when parents separate, the kids can feel like they caused the divorce. Depending on the circumstances, that can be far from the truth. It’s best to reassure them they played no role in the parents’ decision to divorce.
  • Describe what a divorce could look like: After parents tell the kids, they may have questions about where they will live, what school they will go to and how often they will get to see each parent. While neither spouse may fully know what the future has in store for them, they should provide what answers they have at the moment and assure them that things will be okay.
  • Give them time to adjust: After telling the kids, they may be confused, upset or even angry. These are all normal feelings to have and they could last for a while. Hopefully, they will become more comfortable with these changes as time goes on. However, parents should still hold their kids accountable for bad behavior if they lash out because of the divorce.

Talking to the kids about the separation can be challenging

No matter the circumstances, telling kids about the divorce can be one of the most heart-wrenching conversations parents can have. Luckily, there are ways both parents can make the conversation healthy and constructive. Those looking to file for divorce in Connecticut may want to speak with an experienced and compassionate family law attorney. They can help couples create a plan that can help both the couple and their kids ease into their post-divorce lives.